I don't own my child's body

Some experts advise parents not to make their children hug or kiss relatives.

Katia Hetter is a CNN features writer who covers parenting, relationships, books, entertainment and travel. This story has been updated from a version published in 2012.

(CNN)My daughter occasionally goes on a hugging and kissing strike.

She's 7, and she's been holding these wildcat strikes since she was 3 or 4. Her parents can get a hug or a kiss, but many people who know her cannot, at least not all the time. And I won't make her.
"I would like you to hug Grandma, but I won't make you do it," I first told her three years ago.
"I don't have to?" she asked, cuddling up to me at bedtime, confirming the facts to be sure.
    No, she doesn't have to. And just to be clear, there is no passive-aggressive, conditional, manipulative nonsense behind my statement. I mean what I say. She doesn't have to hug or kiss anyone just because I say so, not even me. I will not override my own child's currently strong instincts to back off from touching someone who she chooses not to touch.
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